Outraged

Since when did we get so scared to let our kids listen to a speech by the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? You know, the highest elected official in all the land?

I don't care which political party you belong to. I really don't. Don't you think that it is important for your children to respect the President? Not agree with him. Respect him. There is a very big difference.

And if you are so frightened that your offspring are going to be brainwashed by listening to a speech by the President, there must be something different going on at your house than at mine. I can't even brainwash my own kids. Do you know what that speech is going to sound like to them? "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah..." Like the parents on Charlie Brown. And you know what the purpose of it is? To encourage your kid to stay in school. And what message are you sending your kid when you decide to keep them home (are you kidding me?) from school to shield them from a speech by the President?

You are telling them to be afraid. "Be afraid of people that aren't like you." "Refuse to listen." "Be angry and outraged before you even hear what someone is saying." Do you really want to send that message to your kids?

What are you really afraid of? I am going to tell you right now, your kids are hearing a lot of bad things at school from other kids and maybe even teachers; things that you don't agree with. And hopefully, if you've done a good job as a parent, your child will find value in their own knowledge of right and wrong.

Calm down. The president is not going to brainwash your kid to be a (gasp!) democrat. You should be afraid, parents. Be afraid that your kids are going to get wrapped up in drugs and sex and all trappings of adulthood. Do what you can to prepare them for those things. But also prepare them for life in a diverse world. Prepare them for meeting people that do not share their opinions and lifestyle. Don't teach them to be judgemental and to shame others. Teach them compassion and above all, teach them to respect themselves and others.

Tired

I don't want to get out of bed. Bedtime and night time in general is my favorite part of the "day". It is the only time when I don't feel like I should be doing something more. No matter what I am doing, my thoughts are always occupied with what needs to be done next. There is always something else that needs my attention and usually I feel that I need to move on to that next task with urgency. I am in a hurry...all the time. It is a self imposed rush, I know. I have this pressure and guilt sitting on top of my shoulders all the time.

I am tired. In fact, I am exhausted.

I like bedtime so much. I feel safe, lying there with Mike. Even if he is totally asleep and snoring. He is there. He isn't going anywhere. Although I wouldn't blame him if he did. I would get tired of me too.

I'm Blue.

I took a personality test. I am Blue (but you already knew that, didn't you?).
Here are the results:

Blues (Motive: Intimacy)
Blue: 64.21%

Blues are motivated by Intimacy. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give of themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives.

Blues have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries).

Blues are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.

Pigs in a Blanket

We watched the superbowl with my family this past Sunday. It was great, even though our team lost. At least we made it that far and we didn't let Pittsburgh totally blow us out of the water. We gave them a run for their money, that's for sure.

Everyone was there. We had quite a spread of football feasts, including the usual suspects.... bean dip, chicken wings, and my mom made the cutest little pigs in blankets. Conner was eating them when he started looking at one, adoringly and said, "Awwww, how cute. It looks just like Baby Griffin."

My son is so funny. I have to say, I think baby Griffin is much cuter, but those were some adorable piggies.

Rock N' Roll, Baby

I like classic rock. You know... Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, The Beatles... that kind of thing. Heck, I even rock out to Bad Company. Don't deny it. You totally jam when you hear "feel like makin' love" on the radio! Anyway, three times now I have heard a particular song on my local classic rock station that totally irks me. REM, Losing My Religion. It's not that I don't like REM. I do. Nevermind the fact that the song is totally overplayed on radio in general, I just don't think it belongs on the Classic Rock station. Am I wrong? What's next? The Cure? I like The Cure too, by the way, but I don't want to hear it right after Lynyrd Skynryd, ok?

Thanks for listening, blog. Have a great Tuesday.

~Kelly

Motherhood and Marriage

I read www.dooce.com. I love Heather. I admire that she has the guts to honestly publish her life experiences and she doesn't sugar coat it. There are so many people out there that want to pretend that life is perfect and it's just not. Not to say that life isn't awesome. It certainly can be, but we all go through struggles and it's nice to know that I am not alone.

Yesterday the subject on dooce was motherhood vs. marriage. Which is harder? Here are my thoughts on the matter:

I absolutely think that motherhood is harder. Maybe that is because I didn't have a lot of experience with babies and then I ended up having two at once. It made it even harder that I had two boys and I grew up surrounded with women.

It's funny I would say that motherhood is harder, because my marriage didn't survive, so it was obviously difficult. But now, being in a relationship that is so different for me, a relationship that I really WANT to make work, I find it much easier than motherhood.

Motherhood comes with the heavy weight of knowing that you brought this precious life or lives into the world and that it is your responsibility to protect them and love them and also prepare them for the world. It is a big duty.

I want to be clear though, just because I think motherhood is harder doesn't mean that I don't relish it and that I am not thankful for the honor in being a mom. It IS hard, but it is also so wonderfully rewarding.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Have you heard of Activia yogurt? It has some sort of live cultures in it, which is supposed to help your digestive system. Although the thought of eating anything with the word "live" in it completely disgusts me, I decided to try it out. Well, I will spare you the details, but it totally works. I have just been eating one little container a day and on my way to work this morning, I started thinking... I wonder what happens if you eat it several times a day? Shouldn't they put a warning on the package or something? I looked. There is no recommended daily intake or any warning against eating too much. Just a thought I wanted to share.

Ok, I promise my next post won't have anything at all to do with my digestive system.

Oh yeah, and Happy New Year!

~Kelly Belly

My New Mouse

So, I got a new mouse at work. I had known for quite some time that my mouse needed to be replaced. It was really sluggish and I was always clicking on the wrong thing because of the slow response time. Finally, I mentioned it to my boss.

Yesterday my boss got me a new mouse AND a new mouse pad to boot! I cannot believe I waited all this time for a $12 mouse! What a difference! I am not even kidding you, it makes me smile every time I click. I keep wanting to tell my co-workers how awesome my mouse is when they walk by my desk. I am writing a blog about it, for heaven's sake... perhaps I am a wee bit over-excited, but anyway.

I started thinking about how long it takes for the "new" to wear off. I remember when I got my previous vehicle. It was a Jeep Grand Cherokee and it was a hand-me-down from my in-laws at the time. We really needed more reliable transportation for our family and we ended up agreeing to make payments to them for the jeep. I haven't been spoiled in the vehicle department, so things like automatic windows, seat adjusters, leather interior, a digital compass... things like that totally rocked my world, even though the vehicle was almost 10 years old, I was SO thankful for it. I remember driving down the road and thinking to myself, "Don't let the new wear off of this too quick, Kelly. Soak in all the wonderful things about this jeep that you are enjoying so much." Days go by, then months, and before you know it, all those awesome features become completely taken for granted.

We all do this, right? It can be anything. Houses, cars, your ipod, your relationship... Things that were once totally magical suddenly are yesterday's news. I am trying to keep this in mind as I live my day to day life. I don't want to start expecting the little nice things that people do for me rather than appreciating them for what they are.

There's my two cents for today. Did I mention how amazing my new mouse is?

My Daybook

My Daybook, an idea I took from Jana at Pilgrimsteps and that I will tag my sister to complete as well...

I am wearing: A black sleeveless shirt and a blue skirt with black flowers because, I don't know, it's only going to get up to 87 DEGREES TODAY! It's November, enough with the 80's already!

I am reading: I am trying really hard to read Twilight because I feel obligated to the 12 year old girl that I once was. I am sure she would have loved it and would be obsessively cutting out pictures of Robert Pattinson, etc.

I am hearing: Excited voices of co-workers sharing stories and someone listening to (gasp) Pearl Jam in the other room. Love it!

I am learning: How to live. I still have a lot to learn.

I am thankful: For so much! I have an amazing life. I love my boys and I love the family we are creating together with Mike and Seth. I love my mom and my sister and the rest of my extended family too. I have a great job. I am extremely lucky and I know it.

I am hoping: To live life to the fullest. I am hoping for things to get even better.

I am creating: A home where my family knows that they are loved.

And I cried...

Life is hectic. Every day we are up early to start the cycle of kids going to school, working at the office, cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, bills, and bedtime routines... It goes on and on, just to start over again the next day. I get overwhelmed sometimes, even though I know that most of the pressure on me comes from myself.

Last night my boys were behaving badly. Nothing terrible, just kids being kids. I was trying to put a good meal on the table at a decent time. I had to put both the boys in time out while I was cooking and I was just feeling frazzled. The stress of the day was admittedly getting to me and I sincerely wanted to burst. Later, I sat down on the couch, which I hardly ever do. Cody looked over at me and said, "I am SO happy, mama." I said, "I am glad Cody. Why are you happy?" He answered, "Because I love you."

And I cried. Because my heart was full and I was sorry that I don't enjoy every moment that they are little and that I can hold them in my arms. He just wanted me to sit on the couch with them. It's just dinner. It's just laundry. None of it matters if I don't enjoy my loved ones. And I do love them so much.

I Love My Sister

So, my sister tagged me today. I think she may be the only one that actually reads my blog, so I am going to definitely going to play along.

You are supposed to pick the fourth file in your photo files and then pick the fourth photo. Here goes:


This is the fourth photo from the fourth file on my computer where I spend most of my time:


This is from a trip that my honey and I took to Jerome, Arizona with his son back in February of '08. It was just a day trip and my boys were with their dad that weekend. I took this picture of the Hotel Connor because it made me think of my own little Conner. There was a band playing in the Spirit Room and I snuck glimpses of the people rocking out as we walked past the window.

This is the fourth photo from the photos saved on my camera phone.




It is my little guys standing in the front yard right before we headed to the bus stop the day before yesterday. The weather is so gorgeous right now in the mornings. It reminds me that Arizona really is a lovely place to live during the winter, spring, and fall. I took this picture to send to my sister Regan, because she is so great at sending me photos almost daily of her amazing Griffin. It makes me feel like they are not so far away, after all, and I appreciate that because I miss that little Golding family something terrible!

I love you Regan!

My Two Sons

Here are the proofs from my sons' kindergarten school photos. It cost me 71.50 for each of their photo packages. Is it just me or does that seem a bit EXCESSIVE? Anyway, the pictures are cute and I chose two poses for each of my boys. Can you guess which ones?




They are so different, but they are also very alike. For example, last week Conner spent a long time discussing camels with me before bed. I don't know where the sudden interest in camels came from, but OK. Anyway, I told him it was time to stop talking about camels and go to sleep and I said, "I love you Conner." Some time passed and he did not answer me. Finally he said, "Mom, I love you too." Pause "But I really love camels too."

Then this week, I was laying there with Cody, waiting for both of the boys to fall asleep and I told them I love them, as always. Conner replied quickly with an, "I love you too Mommy." Finally Cody said, "I love you mom, but I really love cars."

I need to teach them that no woman wants to hear a "but" after "I love you."

Conversations with God

So, I picked up the boys on Sunday after spending the weekend "camping" with their paternal grandparents and their father. I asked them what they did during the weekend and they both said they had gone fishing. I asked if they caught any fish, to which Cody told me that Conner did indeed catch a fish. I asked Conner to tell me about the fish, watching both of them in the rear view mirror as we drove home.

Conner - I caught a big one, Mom.

Me - Oh yeah, what did you do with it?

Conner - Well, it died. It was on the ground and then a crab came and ate it's eyeballs out.

Me (trying not to gag) - Oh, that's not good...

Conner - Yeah, I'm going to tell God.

Long, dramatic pause...

Conner (looking up to the sky) - God? A lobster ate my fish's eyeballs out and that is NOT nice.

Another pause...

Conner - And, I have the hiccups!

And God replied - I will get working on that right away...

Just kidding.

What's next? Ostrich Burgers?

So, it seems to me that every time that my boyfriend is feeling grumpy with me he brings something home from the store that is unusual and wants to cook for himself. This has happened 3 times now, so I am really starting to think my theory is correct.

I should tell you that I am a vegetarian, however I do cook meat for my boyfriend and our sons. I cook hamburger, chicken, steaks, bacon, fish sticks... I also do most of the cooking for the family and I do the majority of the grocery buying.

The first time it happened he brought home some sort of lamb thing. I didn't even come near it. Why would anyone want to eat a LAMB of all things? As in, Mary had a little... Come on. The next time it happened, he showed up with a giant whole chicken. And then last night, he came home with a big rack of ribs. These purchases are always joined with several cans of pork and beans and other random supplies (canned beets, anyone?).

What is next? Ostrich patties? Buffalo burgers? No, I got it. Cow tongue. I have tried asking about my observation, but he insists it is completely coincidental.

Persisitant Munching Syndrome

PMS

I have PMS and I am warning you, I will eat your arm if it gets too close to me. And then I might cry about it later.

Tin foil and other things I love...

Tin Foil - Shiny, Useful, Awesome: I recently found out, thanks to a random email in my inbox, that tin foil is even more fabulous than I already thought it was! Did you know that tin foil boxes have tabs on either end that keep the roll from coming out? I did not! How long have these useful little tabs been there and why didn't I know about them? Just another reason that tin foil beats out plastic wrap, hands down!




And have I mentioned that my sons are the coolest thing since sliced bread? Because they are. Every day they amaze me. They already have an incredible confidence about themselves and that makes me very proud. And I love that they are so willing to express their love to not only me, but other people too. It has to make you feel good to hear a little boy say that they love you. Nowadays, Cody has taken to calling me, "MaaMaa" (long ah sound). I went from Mommy to Mom to the latest incarnation of MaaMaa. All of which sound like heaven to my ears.



That's all. I love tin foil and my boys. Have a great day!

"It's Hooker-Palooza, Kelly!"

So, my place of employment happens to be in a very undesireable part of Phoenix. In fact, my boss actually shot and killed an intruder in our front lobby before I started working here. If you have never been exposed to the underbelly of society, some things can be quite shocking.

For example, it is disturbing when a drug/whore house begins operating directly across the street. I am not even kidding. We used to have an older, African-American buddy living across the street named Jerry. Jerry was kind enough to let me park in his front lot and he would keep an eye on me when I was going in or coming out of the office.

Last week I was parking in my usual spot in front of Jerry's yard when I noticed someone standing in the doorway of the house watching me. I got out of my jeep and the person, who I initially thought was a teenage boy, walked towards me. I was surprised because the person, who I would soon find out was a middle-aged woman, was carrying a Corona beer. This is at 7am. This is not my Jerry.

I politely asked her where Jerry was and she answered back a very confusing babble about a short man. Hmmm. I moved my jeep immediately and walked to our shop, worrying about what had happened to my buddy.

Fast forward to this week. I return to work on Tuesday from a vacation in Utah to find that Jerry's house is now a full-fledged drug/prostitution operation. Jerry has moved in with relatives somewhere and the house is being rented out. My service manager at work that goes by the name, "Hillbilly" announced the neighboring development by exclaiming loudly, "It's Hooker-Palooza, Kelly!"

He wasn't kidding! In one day there were over 55 cars that paid a visit to Jerry's house. One guy comes by 3 times a day and is in and out with whatever he is snorting,shooting or smoking in less than 3 minutes. Cab cars pull up with prostitutes of various ethnicities and ages and people come and go like a subway depot. It is incredible. Have the police been involved, you might ask? Well, yes. Has anything really been done? Well, no. This is also an unfortunately shocking part of this entire thing. Nothing is happening and I am not sure why.

So, in the meantime, my boss has armed the females with pepper spray. Wildfire, it is called. "When your life is on the line..." Well, I hope that I don't have to use this spray on anyone and I hope my life isn't "on the line" anytime soon. What I do know is that these people across the street, their lives ARE on the line. I don't care at all about the dealers, but these prostitutes and these drug addicted lost souls make me very sad. This is one small house in one small city block. Do you know how many Jerry's houses there are? It is terrifying.

Kelly + Mae = Me

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, I was named after my uncle Kelly and my Grandma Mae.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I got a little teary-eyed yesterday, but it wasn't a big bawling episode.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, I like it.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? No meat for me. Just cheese please.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I have 2 rowdy, wonderful, crazy kids.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, I think I would.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Probably.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Nope, they were taken out when I was 9, along with my adenoids... whatever those are.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I have no desire to bungee jump.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I rarely eat cereal because the milk makes me sick, but I actually just bought some the other day. I like Honey Bunches of Oats, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and when I was pregnant I LOVED Cocoa Puffs.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I hardly ever wear shoes that tie, but when I do, No, I don't untie them. I really dislike shoes that tie.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Sometimes I am strong and sometimes I am not. I am trying to accept this about myself. I want to be strong always.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip.

14. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Hmmm, I guess I notice if they smile or not. I notice how they react to the things/people around them. I hardly ever notice what people are wearing or what they look like in detail.

15. RED OR PINK? Burgundy is my favorite color. I would say that is more of a red, so I am going with red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My imperfectness.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I miss my sister (!), my nephew and my brother-in-law.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Sure.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing a black sundress and flip flops.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Triscuits and cheese.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A Nickelback song on the radio.

22. IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY WOULD YOU SHARE IT? Absolutely!

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Clean laundry, vanilla, rain, sweet smells.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I love my sister more than anything!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Well, I have had a lot more exposure to watching sports this year and I have to say that I have enjoyed every sporting event that I have gone to so far. I really like hockey and I would love to go to more games. We have been to basketball as well, which I love. And my honey has season tickets for the Diamondbacks and I always have a great time. I am not really into watching any sports at home on the television. I would rather be there in person.

27. HAIR COLOR? Blonde/Brownish mix.

28. EYE COLOR? Hazel.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, I just have glasses. I would like to try contacts sometime.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Pizza.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Definitely happy endings. I hate scary movies.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The last one I saw in a theater was Ironman.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black sundress.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter, but I really love fall, to be honest.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Lemon Cream cake from Olive Garden. Cheesecake.

37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I am desperately trying to finish The Memory Keepers Daughter. It is a good book and I only have around 30 pages to go. Maybe this week...

38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? It is just blue.

39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Mike had 2 and 1/2 Men on when I got home last night.

40. FAVORITE SOUND? Wind chimes, waves, kids laughing, rain on a roof.

41. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Maui.

42. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I think I am talented, but I don't know if I would say a "special talent."

43. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Provo, Utah

Home Sweet Home

My sons and I have been living with my mom and step-dad, Chris for over a year and a half now. I was going through a divorce and my mom and Chris graciously allowed us to invade their space. They really made me feel at-home, welcome, and as comfortable as possible in a situation where it is easy to get discouraged.

The time has finally come for me to have my own abode once again, and I am overjoyed! Not only am I happy because I have a home to call my own, but I am also thrilled to be moving in with the love of my life.

I am a very lucky girl. I am so thankful for all the wonderful things happening in my life.

Home Sweet Home!

Dig This

I guess when you are a woman that is dating someone older than you that happens to be successful, you should expect some people to doubt your intentions. Nonetheless, it still caught me off guard when someone had the nerve to call me a gold digger.

My boyfriend is a very hard-worker and he deserves every bit of success that has come his way and I am proud of him for his achievements. That being said, I have never and would never date someone to achieve any sort of financial gain. Anyone that truly knows me, knows that I am a genuine person with a good heart.

The truth of the matter is, I am totally and completely in love with this man. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. And furthermore, I do take offense to that persons comment. It was insulting to me, and to my boyfriend as well, and I am glad he didn't hear it.

Can you dig it?