Tired

I don't want to get out of bed. Bedtime and night time in general is my favorite part of the "day". It is the only time when I don't feel like I should be doing something more. No matter what I am doing, my thoughts are always occupied with what needs to be done next. There is always something else that needs my attention and usually I feel that I need to move on to that next task with urgency. I am in a hurry...all the time. It is a self imposed rush, I know. I have this pressure and guilt sitting on top of my shoulders all the time.

I am tired. In fact, I am exhausted.

I like bedtime so much. I feel safe, lying there with Mike. Even if he is totally asleep and snoring. He is there. He isn't going anywhere. Although I wouldn't blame him if he did. I would get tired of me too.

I'm Blue.

I took a personality test. I am Blue (but you already knew that, didn't you?).
Here are the results:

Blues (Motive: Intimacy)
Blue: 64.21%

Blues are motivated by Intimacy. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give of themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives.

Blues have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries).

Blues are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.

Pigs in a Blanket

We watched the superbowl with my family this past Sunday. It was great, even though our team lost. At least we made it that far and we didn't let Pittsburgh totally blow us out of the water. We gave them a run for their money, that's for sure.

Everyone was there. We had quite a spread of football feasts, including the usual suspects.... bean dip, chicken wings, and my mom made the cutest little pigs in blankets. Conner was eating them when he started looking at one, adoringly and said, "Awwww, how cute. It looks just like Baby Griffin."

My son is so funny. I have to say, I think baby Griffin is much cuter, but those were some adorable piggies.

Rock N' Roll, Baby

I like classic rock. You know... Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, The Beatles... that kind of thing. Heck, I even rock out to Bad Company. Don't deny it. You totally jam when you hear "feel like makin' love" on the radio! Anyway, three times now I have heard a particular song on my local classic rock station that totally irks me. REM, Losing My Religion. It's not that I don't like REM. I do. Nevermind the fact that the song is totally overplayed on radio in general, I just don't think it belongs on the Classic Rock station. Am I wrong? What's next? The Cure? I like The Cure too, by the way, but I don't want to hear it right after Lynyrd Skynryd, ok?

Thanks for listening, blog. Have a great Tuesday.

~Kelly

Motherhood and Marriage

I read www.dooce.com. I love Heather. I admire that she has the guts to honestly publish her life experiences and she doesn't sugar coat it. There are so many people out there that want to pretend that life is perfect and it's just not. Not to say that life isn't awesome. It certainly can be, but we all go through struggles and it's nice to know that I am not alone.

Yesterday the subject on dooce was motherhood vs. marriage. Which is harder? Here are my thoughts on the matter:

I absolutely think that motherhood is harder. Maybe that is because I didn't have a lot of experience with babies and then I ended up having two at once. It made it even harder that I had two boys and I grew up surrounded with women.

It's funny I would say that motherhood is harder, because my marriage didn't survive, so it was obviously difficult. But now, being in a relationship that is so different for me, a relationship that I really WANT to make work, I find it much easier than motherhood.

Motherhood comes with the heavy weight of knowing that you brought this precious life or lives into the world and that it is your responsibility to protect them and love them and also prepare them for the world. It is a big duty.

I want to be clear though, just because I think motherhood is harder doesn't mean that I don't relish it and that I am not thankful for the honor in being a mom. It IS hard, but it is also so wonderfully rewarding.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Have you heard of Activia yogurt? It has some sort of live cultures in it, which is supposed to help your digestive system. Although the thought of eating anything with the word "live" in it completely disgusts me, I decided to try it out. Well, I will spare you the details, but it totally works. I have just been eating one little container a day and on my way to work this morning, I started thinking... I wonder what happens if you eat it several times a day? Shouldn't they put a warning on the package or something? I looked. There is no recommended daily intake or any warning against eating too much. Just a thought I wanted to share.

Ok, I promise my next post won't have anything at all to do with my digestive system.

Oh yeah, and Happy New Year!

~Kelly Belly

My New Mouse

So, I got a new mouse at work. I had known for quite some time that my mouse needed to be replaced. It was really sluggish and I was always clicking on the wrong thing because of the slow response time. Finally, I mentioned it to my boss.

Yesterday my boss got me a new mouse AND a new mouse pad to boot! I cannot believe I waited all this time for a $12 mouse! What a difference! I am not even kidding you, it makes me smile every time I click. I keep wanting to tell my co-workers how awesome my mouse is when they walk by my desk. I am writing a blog about it, for heaven's sake... perhaps I am a wee bit over-excited, but anyway.

I started thinking about how long it takes for the "new" to wear off. I remember when I got my previous vehicle. It was a Jeep Grand Cherokee and it was a hand-me-down from my in-laws at the time. We really needed more reliable transportation for our family and we ended up agreeing to make payments to them for the jeep. I haven't been spoiled in the vehicle department, so things like automatic windows, seat adjusters, leather interior, a digital compass... things like that totally rocked my world, even though the vehicle was almost 10 years old, I was SO thankful for it. I remember driving down the road and thinking to myself, "Don't let the new wear off of this too quick, Kelly. Soak in all the wonderful things about this jeep that you are enjoying so much." Days go by, then months, and before you know it, all those awesome features become completely taken for granted.

We all do this, right? It can be anything. Houses, cars, your ipod, your relationship... Things that were once totally magical suddenly are yesterday's news. I am trying to keep this in mind as I live my day to day life. I don't want to start expecting the little nice things that people do for me rather than appreciating them for what they are.

There's my two cents for today. Did I mention how amazing my new mouse is?